Friday, April 13, 2012

Hell's Hills 50K (April 2012)

I carried a chip on my shoulder as we drove away from Rocky Hill Ranch after Hell's Hills last year.  Granted, I hadn't been ready for the 50K distance last year.  Truly, I had no business being out there.  That being said, I wanted to show that course what I was made of and, coming off such an amazing experience at Nueces, I was ready to go head-to-head, again.

I mimiced my Nueces 50K training for Hell's Hills.  My running remained strong and consistent.  My long runs were easier, especially the twenty mile training run two weeks out.  I knew I was ready, but I had reservations about the different terrain and the increasing heat.  Again, I developed a plan for getting from aid station to aid station and ran the race in my head a number of times.  One challenge I knew I'd have to overcome was the possibility of arrogance after Nueces.  So, I reminded myself to respect the course and respect the distance.  Take it mile by mile; run smart; fuel smart; and keep moving.  Those were my rules.  My goals?  Finish in under 7 hours, without the aid of a walking stick, and strong.

At the last minute, we got a hotel room in Smithville so we could save an hour in the morning that we wouldn't have to spend driving.  After another pre-race last meal at Whole Foods (garden vegetable soup, whole wheat roll, linguini with roasted tomatoes, and fresh fruit), we hit the road.  The drive was short and easy and, before long, I was assessing Saturday's weather, setting out my race day clothes and equipment, and double-checking that I had my toaster, whole wheat bread, peanut butter, blackberry preserves, and, most importantly, my pack of tiny Diet Dr. Pepper cans.  Everything was accounted for so, I did what any runner does the night before a race:  I settled into bed and watched some mind numbing television.

Surprisingly, again, I was able to fall asleep fairly quickly.  The AC unit in the hotel room wasn't great at circulating air throughout, so I was a bit warm throughout the night, but it wasn't too terrible.  After a "I overslept!" dream, the alarm nonchalantly sounded at around 4:30 a.m.  I promptly opened a can of Diet Dr. Pepper and began my ritual.  I got dressed, double-checked all of my equipment (headlamp, batteries, water bottles, watch, hat, socks, and shoes), and made my peanut butter and jelly toast.  After all the boxes were checked, we packed everything up and hit the road for the short drive to the race site.

My anxiety began to rise.  I had something to prove today; I had to prove that I could do this course as well as I could Nueces.  I had to prove that the last year had taken me far from the DFL category.  I am very proud of my DFL at Hell's Hills last year; however, I am a much different runner than I was last year, and I'm equally proud of the strides I've made in that respect.  I wanted that to shine through today, but I also knew anything could happen.  I tried to swallow the anxiety and made my way to pick up my packet.

We set up my drop area:  a reasonably uncomfortable chair, my equipment bag with easy access to new socks, a second pair of shoes, a change of running clothes, my Lara bars, peanut butter, and Diet Dr. Pepper.  I started the next round of rituals:  folding my bib number into a smaller rectangle, pinning it on, stretching, tensing up into a tight ball in the chair, and yawning nonchalantly, as if I wasn't about to set out on a thirty one mile jaunt.  As usual, the start time was suddenly upon me.

For this race, both Ben and my mom were in attendance, and both were also running their own races.  Ben was taking the opportunity to get his marathon training run in by running the 25K.  My mom decided on the 10K, as she's coming back from a recent injury.  I hugged, received by votes of confidence and well wishes, and slowly walked over to the start line.  I was awfully sleepy and hadn't been able to shake into alertness quite yet.  I distracted myself by catching up with some running buddies and suddenly found myself crossing the start line and onto the course.  I reminded myself that the first two miles were climbing miles on an otherwise flat course.  "Take it easy.  This is going to be a warm and humid day.  Don't give it all away for just these two miles."

There were so many runners out there.  The start of the race was exceedingly frustrating as people paused, walked short and ridiculous "ascents," and generally slowed the entire line of runners down.  It only takes one runner to slow the entire procession.  I just hoped it wouldn't be like this for the entire race, otherwise I wouldn't be able to zero in on my focus.  Finally, the trail opened up and allowed me to run around a small group of women runners who were well into a gossip fest.  Not my cup of tea during an ultra; perhaps over brunch, but I needed to focus.  Soon, they were well behind me and I couldn't even hear their chatter anymore.  I focused on the rolling and twisting of the trail, instead.

In planning for the aid stations, I'd decided to eat a snack at the three-mile water only aid station.  As the sun started rising, I thought the aid station should be coming up shortly.  But I kept running, and it never appeared.  My spirits started to lag.  I was running, and quickly at that, but I felt like I wasn't getting anywhere, especially that water aid station.  In fact, I was already feeling hungry and I hadn't even reached the three mile mark?  I started to think about how long of a day this was going to be.  Finally, the trail dropped me into the aid station.  Relieved, I started to unzip the pouch on my water bottle for my Lara bar, since this was a water only station after all.  Then I noticed a friend noshing on some peanut butter and jelly squares.  "Isn't this a water only aid station?  Where'd you get that?"  Jeremy just laughed at me, pointed to his watch, and said, "You've run about six miles!  We passed the water only station three miles ago!"  In the darkness, or perhaps due to my own focus, I'd blown right past the three mile station!  My spirits soared.  I'd run six miles without even realizing it; my hunger was reasonable.  I grabbed some peanut butter and jelly squares, filled my water bottle, and ran off yelling something about how excited I was to get to the field of flowers on this next section.

I fell into running with two older runners.  We discussed the virtues of trail and ultra running and introduced ourselves to one another.  We developed a nice cadence, challenging but still comfortable.  The time passed reasonably quickly.  Suddenly, we were seeing more wildflowers and I knew the best part of the course was about to open up to us:  the field of flowers.  Imagine the poppy field in the Wizard of Oz.  Now, fill it with blue bonnets, Indian paintbrushes, and a medley of yellows, whites, and oranges.  The field was blanketed with a beautiful mist, something you only see in animated films almost.  It was idyllic and gorgeous.  Because the trail was flat, smooth, and straight, I let myself take it all in; I also knew I could get distracted for a moment because the next aid station was about a quarter of a mile away.  And there it was, the Tunnel of Pines aid station.  As I ran up, I saw a familiar mint green Mercedes:  Dave Silvestro would be there!  Dave has become a good friend of mine, one of the closest members of my trail family.  He is encouraging, but isn't afraid to let you know how you can improve.  On top of that, he is one of the most unique individuals I've ever met.  And finally, he has an adorable chocolate lab named Zeus, who I adore.  As I glided into the aid station, I mustered all the nonchalance I could: "Morning, Dave!"

Dave was at Rocky Raccoon and witnessed my complete breakdown after the first loop.  In fact, he washed my feet and ran through all of my ailments, pains, and thoughts as I decided to call the race an attempt rather than a finish.  Dave knew these next races would be important ones, and I wanted him to see how different an experience they were already.  I wanted him to see how strong I was this time around.  I was rewarded with a great smile, a compliment on how I looked after 10 miles, and encouragement to keep it up.  Another handful of peanut butter and jelly squares, some water, and I was off.  "See you in a bit, Dave!"

The last 4.7 miles of the loop can be tough.  It seems never ending and is littered with random rocky portions and some incredible drops and ascents.  Unfortunately, this is when my IT band started to rear its ugly head.  Knowing I could keep running through the pain without incurring more problems, I kept at it.  I had my IT band strap at the start/finish and I knew I could alleviate the pain the sooner I got there.  I won't lie:  it hurt.  At the same time, I knew I could run through it, so I did.  I also knew I had to get out on the second loop so I could solidify my chances of finishing.  So, I trudged along and came into the start/finish at three hours on the dot.

I grabbed some water and food, put on my IT band strap, and grabbed a Diet Dr. Pepper.  I dropped my headlamp and sweater, and off I went.  I needed to keep the focus and get to the first aid station.  I was nervous about my IT band.  I knew it could make this day much longer than I was hoping it would be.  I took the first mile or so at a trot, as I knew the trail would flatten out shortly.  I convinced myself to keep running, even if it wasn't as fast as I had during the first loop.  Again, I dropped in with another set of runners, who thought I might be at the front of the pack for the women runners.  I knew it was impossible, so I just put it in the back of my mind, but I did hang on to their comments about how "fresh" I looked.  "A good game face," I thought.  "I'm no stranger to acting."  We kept going, chatting about running, the Olympic trials in Houston, and a number of other things I let glide through my ears as a simple distraction from this particular part of the course.  I knew it would feel long again.  Finally, we were back at the first aid station.

My IT band hadn't quieted.  I tried stretching it out and downed a handful of salt pills to try to alleviate the muscle cramps I'd started to feel.  The heat was setting in and I'd underestimated its affect on my running.  I hadn't had muscle cramps since the Capt'n Karl's series.  I'd forgotten how painful they are, almost crippling.  I did remember, however, that the muscle cramps don't feel quite so bad as long as I keep running, distracting my legs from the cramps and focusing on the act of running.  So, after fueling and refilling my bottles, I trotted off.  I focused on the field of flowers to keep me moving; I craved the beautiful sight again.

The focus I had to harness on this next section was incredible.  My energy levels were dropping faster than they had the first loop; the heat was setting in and taking its toll; I had to keep moving and get to the next station to have any chance of finishing in under seven hours.  I peeled my eyes for "landmarks" on the trail.  If I saw something familiar, I tried to place on the last loop and how I'd felt at the moment in a vain attempt to gauge where I was in relation to the field of flowers and the next aid station.  I refused to look at my watch, as I didn't know what my pace was, so I could easily deceive myself into thinking I had less time to run to get to the next aid station than was really the case.  Finally, I was at the field again.  This time, however, the sun was unrelenting and led me to sweat bullets.  I picked up the pace, taking advantage of the flat and smooth portion, passing runners I thought had gained at least miles on me.  As I passed, friends commented, "looking good!"  I kept my focus and threw them a nod and waive of appreciation.  Coming into the aid station, I realized I was more dehydrated and in more of a calorie deficit than I originally thought.  I was a touch woozy and couldn't quite focus on what, exactly, I needed.  As a result, I had some peanut butter and jelly, some M&Ms, some Coca Cola, and Pringles dipped in mustard.  I'd come to regret the mustard, but all's well that ends well.  Off I went.

Knowing the last two miles would be tough on the IT band with the steep descents and ascents, I took advantage of the Tunnel of Pines and Avenue of Pines.  I ran as comfortably and as quickly as I could. The heat and sunshine took more out of me.  My energy levels were dropping.  "Keep moving."  I would run a bit, catching up to my power-walking friend Brian, then drop focus and reduce to a hike.  Brian would quickly pull ahead of me and I would become frustrated again.  Back to running.  It became a cat-and-mouse game, which we both recognized.  The miles leading up to the Grind and the Wall were long and unending.  I knew that, once I got to the Grind and the Wall, both incredibly steep gulches in the trail, I was close to the finish and closer to some ice cold water.  The sun set in deeper in my gut.  Things easily could have turned very ugly, very quickly.  I could feel my stomach churning, bubbling, and threatening to send everything right back from whence it came.  "Keep moving."

Suddenly, I saw Steve Moore on the side of the trail.  I imagine he was out there to encourage people, or perhaps waiting for particular runners to pat on the back.  I glanced at him, "how much further?"  He scrunched up his face a bit, "Umm...oh..."  "Don't tell me.  Don't tell me. Don't tell me," I blurted out, turning my face away and putting my hand up in the air.  Thankfully, he didn't take offense.  He knew what was going in my head and let me pass without a second thought.

The trail turned into a tropical-like environment, and I knew I was getting closer.  Finally, the trail opened up to a Jeep-type road and my cadence quickened.  "This was where I ditched my walking stick last year," I thought, smiling to myself.  No walking stick this year!  Finally, I saw the barn and tractors.  I crossed a small clearing and up a short climb.  At the top of the climb, there were the camp sites.  I knew the parking area was just around the bend.  My pace quickened yet again.  The finish was right around the corner.  My back instinctively straightened.  My shoulders fell back and relaxed.  My pace hit its stride and picked up considerably.  I ignored the pain in my knee; it was almost over.  I focused on the finish line, not hearing or seeing anyone on the side lines.  Finally, I heard the ringing of the finisher's mat as I crossed the line.  At the finish were Ben, my mom, and a handful of members of my trail family:  Michael Sawyer, Brian Kuhn, David Jacobson, and Chris Haley.  I took in the look on their faces.  They weren't used to me finishing right behind them and it showed in their surprise!  I knew I'd done well, but all I wanted to do was escape the heat.  I doubled over in relief and wondered where two things were: (1) my finisher's medal, sans a DFL trophy, and (2) a cold bottle or cup of water.

Hell's Hills was more challenging than I anticipated, but it was a lesson in respecting all aspects of a race.  Anyone can run the distance, but it takes a number of skills to balance the hydration, fueling, electrolyte balancing, and adjusting for rising or lowering temperatures.  While I think I could've left more out on the course, I'm still proud of my finish.  I don't think I gave it my all, for whatever reason.  I just don't feel like I did, which will get me out there next year.  That being said, I finished four hours faster than I did last year, of which I am very proud!  But, I can do better.  I know I can.  And that is what keeps me going...

Hell's Hills 50K, Rocky Hill Ranch, Smithville, Texas
April 7, 2012
6:49:28

Nueces 50K (March 2012)

With the feeling of accomplishment from last year's jaunt on the Nueces course, as well as memories of the absolutely gorgeous landscape and environment, fresh in my mind, it was a no brainer to sign up for race again this year.  The only catch?  I'd be attempting the 50K.  Joe maintains this is one of his most challenging courses, so this decision put me a touch on edge, especially considering my thoughts on the Cactus Rose course in Bandera.  This in mind, I decided to take what I learned at both Cactus and Rocky and move forward with preparing for the Nueces 50K.

In the weeks leading up to the race, I pushed myself harder and further on training runs.  I felt myself becoming stronger, faster, and more confident every time I laced up.  I committed myself to consistency in a number of ways:  (1)  more healthful and whole eating; (2) smart and more focused recovery; (3) smart running; and (4) taking training one run at a time.  Additionally, I committed myself to the necessary mileage.  I wanted to start this race with the confidence that I could tackle the miles and the only way to gain that confidence is to log the miles beforehand.  So, my weekend long runs involved a number of 15 milers, as well as one 20 miler two weeks out from race day.  I tapered with a 10 mile long run the weekend before, 4-5 milers on the Monday and Tuesday prior, and rest on Wednesday and Thursday.  Finally, the pre-race final meal at Whole Foods:  garden vegetable soup (fiber for digestion); spinach and feta orzo (protein for sustained energy and carbohydrates for glucose); ciabatta roll (again, those carbohydrates); and some fresh fruit (those lovely, lovely carbohydrates).  After the mind numbing three and a half hour drive to Rocksprings, reality was setting in:  the moment of truth was upon me.  Was my new approach to training (i.e., actually training) going to work?  Would it be worth it?  Or would it flesh out to provide me with no more strength and drive than I'd had in previous races such that I could revert back to my "Oh, training?  No, I just get out there and run" arrogance?

Kyle and I made the decision to book a lodge at Camp Eagle, which turned out to be a great idea.  Kyle, Ben, and I each had our own bed to get a decent night's sleep before sun rise.  We nestled in around 10:30-11 p.m., on edge for that early morning alarm to sound.  Surprisingly, I was able to fall asleep rather quickly and slept fairly well.  After a "wake up" slap from Kyle, I wished him well and nestled in for another thirty to forty five minutes of sleep before my own start time.  Finally, it was time to get after it:  I woke up, got dressed and tried to warm up my legs, and turned to my trusty whole wheat bread smeared with peanut butter and blackberry preserves, along with a small can of Diet Dr. Pepper.

After picking up my packet, ooh-ing and aah-ing over another pull-over sweater as the race shirt, I began the process of honing my focus on what lay ahead of me for the day.  I reminded myself of the cards I had in my pocket:  (1) I'd run the course before and remembered it well; (2) I was a stronger runner than I'd ever been, and recognized it; (3) I knew to respect the mileage and course; (4) I'd run the course in my mind, with a plan of action for each section of the course (hike the hills with a purpose; aggressively run the remainder); and (5) I was ready to have fun.

The last hour before the start of a race, no pun intended, races by!  Suddenly, Joe is reminding us of a few odds and ends, nuances of the course, and then we're off!  I barely had a moment to stretch before nestling myself in the middle of the pack.  I reminded myself to hold back the energy, hold back the adrenaline; I'd need all I could get later in the loop and later in the race.

The section of each race between the start/finish and the first aid station of a loop is always challenging for me.  I just want to be in the race, which means I want to be on the other side of that first aid station.  Thankfully, there were so many runners (the 25K and 50K began at the same time) that I was distracted for a number of the first few miles on the way to the first aid station.  I focused on getting around particular runners who may have been too slow, too prone to stopping suddenly, or whose running style or sounds simply irritated me.  Finally, the runners spread out and I was able to start taking advantage of some solitude, allowing me to bring my focus to a more central place in my body.  If I could try to describe it, this focus sits in the exact center of my brain, right behind my eyes.  If you have the opportunity to see me come through an aid station at the later stages of the race, you might recognize what this looks like:  almost zeroed in vision, a tunnel vision of sorts.  As I ran toward the first stop on the course, this focus became more and more tangible:  it was going to be a good day.

I finally dropped into the first aid station.  I filled up my water bottle, grabbed a handful of peanut butter and jelly sandwich squares, and perhaps a handful of salt pills.  I knew the middle portion of the loop was both the easiest and challenging.  Coming out of the aid station, the trail becomes nearly unnavigable and it can be difficult to follow the markers.  I slipped down loose rocks, scrambled over fallen branches, and pulled myself up hills that seemed to stare me straight in the face they were so steep.  I ran this portion as best and safely as possible; I knew I would be rewarded with an opportunity to rest on a gentle, but steep, climbing hill.  The tangle of branches, rocks, and roots deposited me at the bottom of this hill and I relished in the sunshine and gentle breeze.

I attack hills with a particular goal:  hike with a purpose.  The goal of an endurance event is to traverse the distance while expending as little energy as possible.  While it would look incredibly impressive indeed to scale a hill with gusto, speed, and while running, this will only cost an athlete later.  So, I hike with a purpose:  I swing my arms at my side to propel me as fast as I can, just short of a run.  I take short steps to avoid rolled ankles, and I pull from my core so I don't burn out my calves or quads.  Finally, on the longer hikes, I content myself with the knowledge that my body will recover remarkably quickly once I reach the summit.

As I reached the summit of this particular climb, I began to, what I will call in retrospect, trot.  The last mile or mile and a half, however long it was, had been challenging but invigorating.  Without much fanfare or warning, though, I felt myself moving faster.  I hadn't told my legs to move faster, but there they went.  I was moving past other runners with such ease, I couldn't help but look down at my body with wide eyes and surprise.  What on earth was going?  To this day, I'm not sure, but I didn't question it and took advantage of it.  I just focused on keeping my back straight, shoulders back and relaxed, arms moving rhythmically.  The end of the descent from the longer climb dropped me onto one switchback trail.  I knew this meant I was close to the next aid station; I also knew this was an incredibly lazy part of the course and I had to take advantage of the lack of rocks, ascents, and sun exposure, so I kept running.  Before I knew it, the trail was dropping me at the Wall, the second aid station of the course.

Ben met me at the Wall, which was a great motivator to keep up the enthusiasm and energy.  I had a few peanut butter and jelly squares, as well as some banana with peanut butter smeared on top.  I didn't want to burn out on peanut butter and jelly, after all.  Off I went, and with a few butterflies in my stomach:  the most gorgeous part of the course was upon me.  As with last year's race, this was the part of the course that convinced me to sign up for the race.  I ran across a portion of the river bed, across the river on an old wooden bridge, and along a bluff directly next to the river; this was why I have grown to love trail running.  The experience with nature is just overwhelming, humbling, and incredible.

Another ascent; another hike with a purpose.  This ascent took us up, only to come back down and into the creek bed.  I knew that, with every step I took, I was coming closer to the most, well, horrific part of the course:  the fence line littered with palm-sized rocks with zero shade.  Suddenly, it was in front of me.  Alright...again, hike with a purpose.  Just keep moving and, no matter what, do not look up.  To look up would be to crush one's spirit with the force of a sledge hammer.  This particular ascent was absolutely unending.  The moment you thought it was over, it kept going.  I didn't look up.  I kept my focus and kept hiking.  Finally, I was at the top and got back to running.  The next portion would be slightly rocky, but it was still easy to take this portion aggressively.  After three rolling ascents and descents, I found myself at the final aid station before the start/finish.  A mile and a half, and I'll have finished the first loop.  I picked up a few M&Ms and was off; I'd refuel and get some electrolytes at the start/finish station.

After a quick jog across a field of sorts, the trail dropped down through a few trees, across the park entrance road, and suddenly the lodge is in sight.  At this point, your spirits lift and you know you're doing something right.  My pace quickened ever so slightly; I wanted to get to the start/finish as soon as possible so I could get started on the second loop.  I knew this thing would be in the bag if I just started on the second loop.  Still, I held back a little bit.  After all, I still had 15.5 miles to run.

At the start/finish, I took another handful of salt pills, ate a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, and drank another small can of Diet Dr. Pepper.  I started the second loop the same way I started the first:  slowly. I knew the first mile and a half or so of this portion of the course was hilly and could zap more energy than other portions of the course.

Again, I just wanted to get on the other side of that first aid station; I wanted to be in the middle of the second loop already.  Unfortunately, my energy levels seemed to plummet suddenly.  The heat was bearing down on me and I was started to falter.  Something had happened.  I decided to take a moment to take stock of what was going on and sat down on the side of the trail.  What was happening?  I'd just had some food and caffeine, I should be firing on all cylinders.  Then I realized I still had my running jacket on.  It had been reasonably cool when the race started, but the temperature had risen quite substantially by this point in the day and I hadn't thought to take the jacket off at the start/finish.  I slowly un-pinned by bib and peeled the jacket off and over my head.  I slowly pinned by bib back onto my shirt, hoisted myself up, and tied my jacket around my waist, praying this would do the trick.  I started off at a trot again.  Slowly but surely, my enthusiasm, focus, and energy returned.  I'd pinpointed the problem, solved it, and was back in the game.

This first portion of the second loop was as long as it had been the first time around, but I finally found myself at the first aid station.  I refilled my water, picked up (surprise!) some peanut butter and jelly squares, as well as a few Pringles.  Off I went.  I knew what I needed to do on this part of the course and I was anxious to tackle it a second time.  The middle part of the course the second time around was almost identical to the first.  Within what felt like minutes, I was at the Wall again.

I hydrated, fueled, and handed off my jacket to Ben.  Off I went; this finish was within grasp.  Given that, I kept my emotions and daydreaming in check.  I still had a number of miles to finish; it wasn't time to celebrate quite yet.  Down into the river bed, across the bridge, up the ascent, down and around, and there was the fence line.  "Blast," I thought.  "Here we go again."  The sun had risen higher in the sky by this point, so the temperature was all the more overbearing.  Sweat dripped down my face and my legs ached with the job of pulling me up the hill.  I diverted my attention to a conversation with a fellow Austinite.  We lamented the climb, and reminded each other to take a moment to appreciate the views of the Texas Hill Country.  It truly is a breathtaking view from up there.  At the top, I knew the rest was downhill as long as I kept running.

"Just keep running," I told myself.  I started approaching two runners ahead of me.  As I passed, one turned to look at me and said, "Well aren't you looking great!"  I nodded in appreciation, but kept my focus.  I didn't want the nonchalance and arrogance to take over.  One ascent and descent.  "Two more," I thought.  Another ascent and descent.  Then, wham.  Something in my ankle seared into action.  I'm still not sure what happened amongst those bones; by the time the race was over, I didn't experience any more pain.  But in that moment, I was sure I'd done something serious.  "Move!," I told myself.  "Just keep moving!  Adjust your gait to avoid the pain, but you're not bleeding and you don't see any bones.  Move!"  So I kept going.  I found a way to run on the tip of my toes on the left foot, supporting most of the movement on my right, and came to the third and final ascent and descent.  I knew the aid station was at the end of this hill.  Another runner I came across was experiencing some muscle problems, so we brought it in together.  A volunteer at the aid station took a look at my ankle.  He probed it, put pressure on it in a few places, rotated it; in short, he couldn't find anything wrong with it.  "Screw it," I told him.  "I'm out of here.  See y'all at the finish."  I grabbed some more M&Ms, declined a swig of Dos Equis, and high tailed it out of there.  I had less than two miles and I was going to finish strong and without whining.

To be certain, that ankle wasn't on board with my plan.  It fought back and brought tears to my eyes a few times in the last two miles, but I bore on.  I kept going and I finally found a comfortable running style to get into the finish at a full on sprint.

As I crossed the finish line, a new emotion flooded over me:  a sense of happiness at how strong of a run I'd just had.  In the past, my finishing emotions centered around the fact that I'd actually finished.  Today, I was overcome with emotion because of how I'd finished and how amazing it all felt.  And on top of that, I finished an hour and a half faster than I was anticipating!  It was incredible and I hope to hold on to that sensation well into future races.

With a smile plastered onto my face, and random giggles, I gathered my things and headed back to the cabin.  For the first time, I was able to take a solid shower immediately after finishing and it was glorious.  I threw myself onto the bed after and took in the day.  Here I was, showered, laying down, and smiling after running thirty one miles.  Training had paid off, I reminded myself.  I had to stick with it.  I suppose the hundreds of thousands of other runners who train are actually on to something...

Nueces is quickly becoming my favorite of Joe's races and I anticipate returning every year, perhaps tackling the 50 miler one of these days.  For now, I think the Nueces 50K will be my go-to yearly race.

Nueces 50K, Camp Eagle, Rocksprings, Texas
March 3, 2012
6:39:30

Thursday, April 12, 2012

Rocky Raccoon 50M (February 2012)

Having finished Cactus Rose, I decided to put another fifty mile race on my calendar.  I knew Rocky Raccoon would be an easier course, so I could certainly finish the race with less drama and in less time.  Further, my running had improved, I'd become faster, and I'd become more confident in my abilities.  In fact, I finished the 3M half marathon a few weeks prior half an hour faster than my fateful experience last year.  So, off to Huntsville we went.

Sadly, we approached race day with less race-related anxiety, with less planning, and with less training.  On January 10, my father passed away after being hospitalized with shortness of breath less than a month prior.  As Rocky was less than a month after his passing, it came as no surprise that I was less enthusiastic, less interested, and less invested in the entire endeavor.  I decided to fake it.  I'd told enough people about the race, I might as well go through with it.

As we drove up to the park, the skies were dumping an unimaginable amount of rain on us.  As I made my way to the Lodge from my car to get my race packet, my shoes were quickly soaked.  This became an incredible foreshadowing for how the rest of the short day would proceed.  I kept up my "excitement," however.  As the start time came closer, we waited out the rain in the car.

While I was hoping real excitement would materialize once the race began, I knew it was a lost cause as we crossed the line.  I continued with the run, however, and it started surprisingly well.  The course is largely flat, mostly littered with roots rather than rocks.  The ground is padded with pine needles, making for a cushioned landing.  Unfortunately, the course was also flooded in many places and had turned to mud on account of the rain.  As I sloshed from aid station to aid station, any semblance of enthusiasm began to fade.  In fact, as I set off from the last aid station in the first loop, everything crumbled.  My energy flat lined.  I began to shiver.  And my irritability sky-rocketed.  I strode into the start/finish turnaround pale, mute, and ready to go home.

I went home.  I pulled off my timing chip and bib, turned them in, and went home.  My heart simply wasn't in the race.  I did not care if I finished.  I did not care if I walked away without a medal.  I simply didn't care one bit about what was going on.  Explaining all of this to Joe, who encouraged me to keep going, I realized how correct of a decision it was.  Compared to The Falls 60K, I was at the opposite end of the spectrum for this DNF.  At The Falls 60K, I was heartbroken; in this instance, I was relieved.  It was time for me to pack up and call it a day.  So, I did.

To this day, I know this was the correct choice.  I may have finished that first loop in record time for me, and I may  have been fueling and hydrating damn near perfectly, but I wasn't there.  And I didn't want to be there.  I'm sure I could have finished, but I didn't care to and I am content with that decision. What I do know is I'll be out there next year, hopefully with a finish to speak of.  I don't feel a need to conquer the course, but I do have a need to experience it in all of its glorious 50 miles.

Cactus Rose 50M (October 2011)

Somehow, I bounced back from my DNF at The Shoe 60K.  I had another race to focus on:  my first attempt to finish a 50 mile race.  Rather than toeing the start line with zero information about the course, the race, and the experience, I searched out every bit of information I could about this little race in Bandera, Texas.  I found out a number of things:  It is all hills.  It is incredible rocky.  You will be running through cactus.  It is self-supported.  It is an incredible experience.

As the weeks wore on, I continued running, although without a planned training schedule.  With new responsibilities at school, I simply couldn't commit myself to a specific training plan.  I had to run when I was able and run the distances time allowed.  I ran 4-5 times per week, with 15 miles on weekends.  As race day approached, I thought it might be worthwhile to get in a longer distance for "time on your feet" experience.  To this end, I met with a few fellow runners at the Forest Ridge Trail for a set-your-own-distance training run.  Our aid stations were the trunks of our cars, as each loop on the trail was about 4-5 miles, perfect distance for the Cactus Rose experience.  On top of this, the terrain we ran on was as similar to Cactus as could be found in Austin.  I set out hoping to run 30-35 miles that day, but I started out with mistakes.  I didn't eat enough over the course of the loops.  I also didn't drink nearly enough water.  Finally, I so quickly got behind on my electrolytes that, after twenty miles, I was seeing stars and finding it difficult to focus on a given point in space.  I shut the training down at twenty miles and contented myself with this as my "long run."  Cactus, here I come.

In between the "training runs," I read every article I could find on the distance and self-supported races.  I began developing what I'd like in each of my drop bags:  peanut butter, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, trail mix, anti-inflammatories and salt pills, Lara bars, bananas, and small cans of Diet Dr. Pepper.  Each was included for a different purpose:  protein for sustained energy and slower digestion, sugars for quick energy, pain killers and electrolytes, easily-eaten foods, potassium, and, of course, caffeine.  As race day closed in, I began assembling my drop bags, hoping I'd put together the perfect concoction for success at Cactus Rose.  I also began packing my race equipment bag.  I set everything out on my bed, double checking my "Race Packing List" to be sure I had everything I might possible need.  Then I packed it all into my bag.  I then unpacked, repacked, unpacked, and repacked again, searching for the most efficient packing possible.  Before I knew it, race day was here.

As we approached Bandera, anxiety began to deepen.  There was nothing more I could do.  I couldn't fit in one more training run.  I couldn't repack my drop bags, or my race equipment bag.  This was it; do or die.  I was somehow able to fall asleep that night, although I'm not sure how.  The back of my truck really wasn't too comfortable, especially with the cold October air seeping in to the cabin.  Shortly after closing my eyes, 4 a.m. was upon us.  My bags had been dropped, my packet had been picked up, my bib pinned, my peanut butter and jelly eaten, and my caffeine slurped.  It was time to start.

I nestled in within the other runners, looking for familiar faces to distract myself from the day I was staring down with wide eyes.  As Joe sent us off, I looked toward my adrenaline to keep me moving.  If I began to contemplate the entirety of the day, I knew things would begin to break down.  As I'd told myself the main weeks prior:  take it five miles at a time and five miles only.  Once you finish the current five miles, then you can turn to the next.  As I strode into the first aid station, I was still fresh and excited.  I cheekily grabbed a Lara bar and trotted off into the continued darkness.

As the sun rose, I knew I'd made a good decision signing up for this race, if only for the incredible views from the tops of the hills.  The expanse was breathtaking and I couldn't help screaming out, "I LIVE HERE!  This is so beautiful!"  Unfortunately, this enthusiasm, coupled with a Tom Petty dance party at Ice Cream Hill, would later come back to my detriment.  I didn't care about that then, I was having a great time; this was my day, I was doing this and no one was going to tell me otherwise.

After the second aid station, the most difficult part of the course lay ahead of me:  the steepest and longest climbs, as well as the patches of Sotol cactus.  This difficulty would span miles 15 through 35, so I knew I needed to focus.  The day began to wear on me and, as the sun began to rise, I had to focus more on each task.  To my credit, I made it through the first twenty five miles with surprising strength and focus.  In fact, I foolishly asked Joe if that was all he had before I set off for the final twenty five miles.  During the course of the next 5-10 miles, I came to regret that comment greatly.  Thankfully, he was at the aid station when I arrived, so I could tell him I'd recognized the gravity of what I was seeking to accomplish.  I'd been reminded of one of the paramount rules of ultrarunning:  respect the distance and respect the course.  Each can chew you up and spit you out without a second glance.

At mile 30, I changed my shoes for more cushioning and left for the third to last aid station at mile 35.  At mile 35, I changed my socks, added some bandaids to a few blisters, fueled, and grabbed a can of Diet Dr. Pepper, as my energy levels were lagging and needed quite the boost.  Miles 35 through 40 were, quite honestly, a breeze.  I didn't realize I'd finished the most challenging part of the course and was on the downhill toward the finish.  As I came in to the 40 mile aid station, I was incredulous as I thought about how far I'd run that day:  40 miles!  I seized on this excitement and, with Ben in tow, set off for the last aid station, where I knew I would find Olga who could push me in to the finish.

As I started shuffling, what I thought was a respectable run, I had no idea how the next few hours would unfold.  About two miles later, my left IT band seized.  I couldn't bend my knee without excruciating pain.  Running was all but out of the question.  Ben helped me stretch it out and remained patient as I dragged my leg, doing my best to maintain a pace faster than walking.  Without our realizing, the sun was beginning to set.  The temperatures were dropping.

I began to shiver and my teeth were audibly chattering.  Night had set in and I hadn't crossed the finish. It was going to be a long night, especially since my IT band was showing no signs of relenting.  Finally, we came into the aid station at mile 45, five miles away from the finish.  Five miles.  I was all but blown:  I was colder than I could imagine, I was exhausted, and I didn't know how I could keep moving with all the pain in my knee.  I relished in the Ramen soup I'd been handed, and eyed the hot chocolate down the line.  Olga came over, asking what I needed.  I told her how cold I was and asked her how I cold overcome the pain in my knee.  Without a second thought, she grabbed her IT band strap, wrapped it around my thigh, and shoved some anti-inflammatories into my hand.  She flitted off for a moment, giving me an opportunity to wrap my frozen hands around a cup of hot chocolate.  I didn't even care when it sloshed onto my bare hands, I was so very cold.  Before we set off for the final five miles, Olga got my attention:  "The valleys are going to be extremely cold.  Just keep moving.  Take the descents carefully.  Above all, don't start feeling sorry for yourself."  I was blown away by her authority on the subject and was confident she knew I could finish.  She shimmied out of her oversized jacket, wrapped it around me and offered one last bit of advice:  "Eye of the tiger.  Now, go!"

We were off.  Olga's generosity and her advice had infused me with a new sense of purpose.  My eyes were focused on the ground and my head was focused on the finish.  The descents were excruciating and the night was unrelenting in its cold.  But we kept moving.  We just kept moving.  At no point did the topic of quitting come up in conversation, although there wasn't much conversation to be had.  Suddenly, we were at the fork; we were at the fork where runners split at the beginning of each loop, the direction depending on which loop they were beginning.  I knew we were close.  The trail flattened and turned into a meandering one through some trees.  Shortly thereafter, we saw deep red lights.  Were they the photographer?  A car's taillights?  It couldn't be the finish line clock, could it?  It was.  "Let's run," I said.  To be frank, "run" is a relative term at this point.  My feet weren't dragging and they weren't walking, but I'm not sure they were running either.  I warned Ben of the impending tears once I crossed the finish.  It had been a long day, and even longer past few hours, how could I not cry?

As the dings echoed once I crossed the finisher's mat, I was surprised to find those tears weren't so forthcoming.  In fact, not even a knot formed in my throat.  I collapsed into a chair and called Joe over. As it turned out, the jacket Olga had given me was his.  I also wanted to give him her IT band strap to return to her.  Finally, I asked him one question:  "Why on earth did I choose this as my first 50 miler, Joe?"  His response?  "I was wondering that myself, Kim.  But you did it, you did great."  At that point, my finisher's medal was shoved into my hand:  I'd finished.  I'd run 50 miles.

Ben and I slowly made out way to the truck, where I found two wonderful surprises waiting for me: a bottle of champagne and a bottle of Jameson whiskey.  I waited on the whiskey, as I knew my liver was already blown from the rest of the day.  But we did pop the cork on the champagne for a bit of celebration.  Considering it was already so late in the evening, it was a short celebration, however.  We climbed into the car, turned the heat as high as it would go, and set off toward Austin.

The jostling of the truck lulled me into a gentle sleep on the ride back.  I was simply too exhausted to take the time to reflect on the day quite yet.  In fact, even today, six months later, is difficult for me to wrap my head around that day.  I still get goosebumps when I think about it.  I am proud of my perseverance, of my resolve to finish, and of the strength I found to do so.  I learned so much about myself that day, lessons I have used in every single race I've run since.

Cactus Rose 50 Mile, Bandera, Texas
October 29, 2011
18:38:34

Capt'n Karl's Night Series

After the 50K at Hell's Hills, I just contented myself with running.  There were no races on the immediate horizon, especially with the deep Texas heat.  After finals, however, my trail running went into overdrive, as did my need for that sense of accomplishment I'd discovered at both Nueces and Hell's Hills.  Perusing the Tejas Trails site, I saw the Capt'n Karl's Night series:  three night races near the end of the summer, spaced over two and a half months.  The races offered 10Ks, 30Ks, and 60Ks.  I knew the 30Ks were achievable, and the 60K was enticing.  So, I signed up for the first two 30Ks, setting my sights on the third race for a new achievement: a 60K, about six miles further than my longest run to date.

To prepare for the races, I began running more times a week and at longer distances than I ever had.  I became a member of the Hill Country Trail Runners, which became an incredible source for group runs, night runs, encouragement, and information.  Each workday was mind numbing; all I could think about was when I would be able to lace up and hit the trails.  It was an incredible feeling!  I found that I'd come to love running!  Who knew this could happen?  I was running, for the most part, for the sake of running. It was all I could talk about, all I could think about, and was, in short, all consuming.

Capt'n Karl's:  The Lake, 30K


The familiar feeling of anxiety, mixed with excitement, mixed with a twinge of self-doubt.  The day of the race, I was a bit timid.  How much water should I drink for my race coming up tonight?  What do I eat?  If I remember correctly, I think Torchy's Tacos was involved, as were 4-5 bottles of water, and a refraining from coffee so it would work when I drank it at night.  An hour's drive later, we were at the race site and setting up for the few hours we'd be out there.

This particular race involved three loops of about 6 miles, which seemed easy enough.  Six miles was nothing, especially with an aid station nestled right in the middle.  And for that matter, I'd been training in the evenings multiple times per week all summer:  this heat wasn't going to be an issue.  However, as the loops wore on, the muscle cramps set in.  I wasn't hydrating nearly enough, nor was I taking in enough salt or electrolytes.  Essentially, everything was breaking down.  I cried out from the muscle cramps they were so painful!  We soldiered on, however.  This 30K was not going to conquer us, we were going to conquer it.  And we did, eventually.  As we collapsed into our chairs, we reflected on the laps comprising this particular race.  It was hot.  It was unrelenting.  And we were exhausted.  And for me, I had to move right along:  there was another 30K in just a few short weeks.  All I had time to do was reflect on the lessons I'd learned:  fuel smarter, don't over hydrate, and pay close attention to electrolyte consumption.

Capt'n Karl's, The Lake 30K
July 16, 2011


Capt'n Karl's:  The Falls, 30K


This time around, my new boyfriend, Ben, was in tow, meaning the stakes were high.  I certainly did not want to lose face in front of him; I wanted to show him how tough I could be, despite how adorable he found me.  Further, my brother and his friend were also running the 30K:  here was my opportunity to prove to my brother how much I'd progressed and improved.  I daydreamed about finishing the race before him somehow, and had even said as much of the possibility out loud!

This race was one loop:  a short and sweet 30K, a few aid stations, and continuously dimming light.  The terrain was manageable and varied, allowing me to pass some of the time by reflecting on what I had seen earlier in the run.  As darkness set in, so did the solitude, giving me the first glimpse of what I would come to love about trail running.  I was able to get lost in the run, hearing only the sounds of my own foot falls and breathing, willing myself to keep moving and keep running.  Before I knew it, I was running along the final fence line with the finish in sight.  "Already?," I thought.  "Well, alright."  I crossed the finish line strong for the first time since I started running in the summer of 2010.  Everything was on point:  I was fueled well (thank you, Hut's!), hydrated, and had sufficient electrolyte levels.  I finished without much fatigue, although I'm not sure another loop would have been feasible.  The best part?  I finished a mere thirty minutes behind my brother.  I didn't meet my goal of beating him, but I came much closer than the realistic side of me thought would be the case.

As we drove away from The Falls, I felt calm and proud.  I had turned to a new side of trail running:  I had some idea of what I was doing, and it felt fantastic.

Capt'n Karl's, The Falls 30K, Pedernales State Falls Park, Johnson City, Texas
August 6, 2011
4:00:39


Capt'n Karl's:  The Shoe, 60K


Shortly after The Falls 30K, an interesting pain developed in my knee.  I'd been running like a maniac lately, with some two-a-days, longer distances, and greater intensity.  Something had gone amiss.  With a trip to San Juan, Puerto Rico on the horizon, I decided to take the trip as an opportunity to rest the joints in preparation for The Shoe 60K.

Unfortunately, the rest in San Juan was insufficient to alleviate the pain in my knees and I felt them almost immediately upon setting out from the starting line.  The race was four loops.  My excitement carried me through the first loop, as did the presence of Ben.  Again, I would hate to lose face in front of him.  As I started out on the second loop, the realization set in that tonight would not be in the cards for me.  At best, I'd walk away with another 30K finish.  A few things contributed to this realization.

First, in between The Falls and The Shoe, I'd signed up for another race:  Cactus Rose 50 Miles at the end of October.  Because I didn't know what was causing the pain in my knees and how serious it might be, I didn't want to jeopardize the next feat on the horizon.  Had I known what the pain was, and that I could continue running on it without causing further damage, perhaps I would have kept going.

Second, and more importantly, I realized the importance of knowing my limits.  I wasn't prepared for a 60K, not in the least, especially one in the dead of summer.  I hadn't logged nearly enough miles; I didn't have the necessary mileage base; and I didn't know what can happen to one's body as the miles pile up during the course of a race.  All I had in my bag was arrogance:  I'm young, fit, and have "run" a 50K, I can certainly do this.

As I approached the end of the second loop, I voiced all of this to a still-unknown fellow runner.  He was much older and clearly, this wasn't his first rodeo.  I explained to him how difficult this was for me; how difficult it was to decide to quit.  I could barely utter the word at all.  I explained that, because I was so young, I didn't have enough experience to handle this more gracefully and understand that it isn't the end of the world.  Despite all of this, I knew what I had to do:  with this knee pain, my upcoming attempt at Cactus Rose, and my inexperience with this distance, I had to drop from the 60K.

Ben could tell something was wrong as I strode into the start/finish area.  He wrapped his arms around me and asked what I needed.  I couldn't even look him in the eye.  My voice was so small, I'm not sure he heard when I said I need to talk to the race director, Joe.  I pulled myself away, still embarrassed about what Ben was about to see and how disappointed I knew he would be in me.  I walked over to Joe, my head hanging lower than I thought was possible.  I uttered the words I didn't think I was capable of uttering:  "Joe, I have to drop.  I have to drop out of the race."  I then heard one of the most heartbreaking sounds imaginable, given the circumstance:  the ripping of my timing chip as it was torn from my ankle.  My race was over.  Joe patted my back, nodded his head approvingly and sympathetically as I explained why I'd made the decision, and offered my a 30K medal as a token of consolidation.  I took it, although to this day I wish I hadn't.  I slipped away, quietly and quickly gathered my things, and went off to hide in my own miserableness.  No one could say anything to assuage my disappointment.  It was absolutely crushing.

We made it back to Austin that night and all I could think about was how on earth I would fare at Cactus Rose.  What had I been thinking signing up for it?

Capt'n Karl's, The Shoe 60K Attempt/30K Finish, Mule Shoe Bend, Marble Falls, Texas
August 27, 2011
5:06:07

Hell's Hills 50K (April 2011)

The Friday before race day I realized I didn't have a headlamp.  Where on earth does one find a headlamp?  Racing the clock in an attempt to find this contraption before traffic became too heavy, I called all around Central Austin.  "Hi, yes, do you carry headlamps?  No?  Okay, thank you!"  Aha!  RunTex had them and, what a coincidence, there is a RunTex on the way to my brother's house, where I'd be spending the night so we could head out at 2 a.m. for the race in Smithville.  I bounded into RunTex, grabbed the first headlamp I saw, and was on my way.

After a heaping plate of Magnolia's migas, topped with salsa, jalapenos, and Tabasco, we set off for the Rocky Hills Ranch in Smithville, Texas.  As far as I could tell, I was mildly anxious, but I knew I had enough time to finish.  Furthermore, I knew I couldn't stand the car ride back to Austin with my brother if I didn't finish.  So, at 6 a.m., toeing the line with a spicy burp, I started on my first ultramarathon, a whopping 31 mile run.

Again, I nibbled at each of the aid stations, and felt defiant in not drinking water too frequently.  In fact, I finished the first loop in a surprising time and with little fatigue to speak of!  "I've got this," I thought.  I was so arrogant, I even called a few people on my way into the second loop, claiming I was "bored."  I wouldn't be bored for much longer.

Eventually, my calorie and hydration deficit caught up to me on that second loop.  I began stumbling, huffing, and slowing considerably.  I began tripping on roots, eventually spraining both ankles.  My vision blurred randomly and soon, I was slightly hallucinating.  And by this point, I found myself only at the first aid station on the loop with nine miles to go.  With one look at me, the aid station volunteers knew I was in over my head:  "Swallow these salt pills.  Drink this Coca Cola.  Eat this entire sandwich.  Hear, trail mix.  You can do this, but you need to pay attention.  Eat at least one of this before the next aid station and use the bathroom at least once.  Once you reach that bend, that bend right there, you're in the single digits."  Now, certainly they let me sit down, cry a little bit about my predicament, and question whether this was going to happen, but they didn't let it overwhelm me.  They must have known this was my first rodeo.

I don't recall much of the rest of the course.  I was tired, but buoyed by the enthusiasm and confidence of the aid station volunteers.  By the time I hit the last aid station on the course, I was floored with exhaustion and pain.  What had I gotten myself into?  And it's not nearly over!  The volunteers at the last aid station were equally encouraging:  they shoved a popsicle and M&Ms in my hands, filled my water, and patted by back as I lamented how law school was easier than this!  Then they dropped a bomb on me:  "Well, know that you've run a marathon today!  Isn't that something?"  What?  I've run a marathon?  Somehow, the reality had slipped my mind that when one runs an ultramarathon, one also runs a regular marathon, something I'd never done before.  The tears burst out of my eyes with such force, nothing could have stopped them!  I stood up and vowed to finish, despite the swollen ankles, hallucinations, and sheer exhaustion.

Unfortunately, the last five miles are some of the hardest with interesting terrain, climbs, extremely steep dips, and some sun exposure just as early summer is starting to set in.  With about two miles to go, a woman came upon me and instantly realized what was going on:  "Hold on!  Give me a second and I'll find you a walking stick!  It will help, I promise.  What's your bib number?  I'll let them know you're on your way!"  She hustled into the woods, found me a walking stick, and dashed off.  The walking stick did help, but I knew I couldn't be seen with it coming into the finish.

Suddenly, I heard cheers and applause:  the finish line.  I ditched the stick and began trotting.  It was so painful and I didn't know how I possibly be doing it, but I wanted to cross the finish at least trotting.  As I approached the finish line, emotions overwhelmed me:  this day was finally coming to a close.  All of the mistakes, consequences, and pain was finally about to be over.  Again, the tears flowed as the timing mat dinged, registering me as a finisher.  I was handed a medal and told, almost sheepishly, that I had finished the 50K in dead last.  Dead last?  That's awesome!  I stuck it out.  I didn't give up!  I finished in spite of it all!  I left the Ranch with a finisher's medal, a "DFL" trophy, and more pride than I could keep within myself, along with a number of pains and tear stains.

I wasn't sure I'd run another one, but I knew I'd accomplished something incredible...and it was amazing.

Hell's Hills 50K, Smithville, Texas
April 2, 2011
10:25:51

Nueces 25K (March 2011)

Hugging my light running jacket around me, I casually told Olga that, because I had so much time on the course before Joe's cut-off, "I was planning on trotting out at the start, but walking a majority of the race."  "No, this is a once in a lifetime chance, run it!"  From the tone of her voice, I knew I didn't have much of a choice.

Kyle and I had arrived at Camp Eagle, three and a half hours west of Austin in Rocksprings, Texas, late in the evening and had slept in the car.  Around 4:30 a.m. or so, we woke up, stumbled up to the Lodge, picked up our packets, and began eating "breakfast," which consisted of peanut butter crackers.  I was just following my brother's lead, although I opted out of the cinnamon roll he was all but inhaling.  I was a bit too sleepy to be all that anxious, plus I knew I would be able to finish the race before the cutoff, no matter how slowly I moved.

Kyle was running the 50K, so I saw him off sometime before the sun rose.  "Those people are insane," I thought to myself.  I somehow entertained myself for the next hour until it was time for me to set out on the course.  By that time, the sun had risen and we were lining up to begin.  I found myself swept up in the runners, traversing unknown trails, twisting back and forth on themselves, climbing to the top of one of the hills of the course.  By the time I made it to the first aid station, I was warmed up and excited for what I was about to do.  I took a small piece of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, about a quarter of one, in fact, and was on my way.  As I headed out of the aid station, I thought this whole race may not be so difficult at all considering the first handful of miles.

Ha!  I suddenly found myself grabbing at branches, sliding down rocky hills, and finally climbing along one of the rockiest hills I've ever come across.  All of this finally eased us onto a Jeep road, hurtling down toward another set of trails, and finally dropping us into the second aid station.  Excitement again set in:  I knew the scenery that had convinced me to sign up for the race in the first place was in the next section of the course.  Another quarter of a PB&J and off I set.  I didn't notice the fatigue, dehydration, or generally slowing I'd experienced.

I don't recall if I ran out of the aid station, if I limped, or if I casually walked out.  Regardless, by the end of the next section of the course, I was spent.  The next section was mostly exposed, along the fence line, traversing an incredible number of ridiculous rocks I, to this day, cannot understand how they got there.  By this point, my ankles were swollen with strain and sprain, I had to use the restroom, and the heat was becoming unbearable.  I kept moving.

I left the last aid station, with about a mile and a half or two miles to go, in high spirits.  I'd already moved over more ground in one "go" than I ever had!  Off I went:  down a short, rocky hill, across the "water crossing," past the Lodge, across a ridiculously shaky bridge, and into the finish.  If you look at the race photos, I have a coy smile on my face, content with my humble accomplishment:  15.5 miles!  "Imagine the awe it will inspire!," I thought.  Again, the tears flowed.  Thankfully, I was able to hold them in until I was back at my car, where I promptly fell asleep for a few hours until my brother finished his 50K.  Shortly after he finished, we were on our way back to Austin.  And as simply as it had all begun, it was over.  My feat was achieved.  What next?  Well, Hell's Hills 50K was right around the corner, but how do I train for it?  What about my sprained ankles?  How do I even wrap my head around that distance?

Nueces 25K, Rocksprings, Texas
March 5, 2011
4:09:53

Introduction

By mid-summer after my first year of law school, the toils of the previous year were beginning to make themselves known.  Hours of sitting, reading, and studying, despite relatively healthy eating and moderate activity, had me feeling sluggish and, quite frankly, lazy.  So, in the late afternoon heat of a Houston summer, I put on my dusty New Balance running shoes, some shorts and a t-shirt, and set my sights on the stop sign just across the further busy intersection.  Half an hour later, I was there; I was dripping with sweat, without a water bottle, and heartbroken to know there was no shuttle back to my front door.  As I turned around and shuffled back to my house, I wondered what I had been thinking.  However, by the time I hurled myself, panting, onto our hardwood floors, desperate for something cooling, I felt a twinge of something great: pride.  With this inkling of a feeling, I got back out there the next day, and the following day, and eventually, had made it a habit.  By the end of the summer, I felt confident enough in my new hobby to get a new pair of running shoes to make it official.

In retrospect, starting running in the deepest part of the summer was a bold choice.  The heat was oppressive; my naivete as to hydration was dangerous; and my inspiration was conspicuously absent.  In spite of it all, though, I continued on with it, even after my move back to Austin.  I knew I had to set a goal for myself, though, if this trend were to persist.  So, I signed up for the 3M Half Marathon at the end of January in 2010.  I had about twelve weeks before race day so, naturally, I thought: "Perfect!  I'll just increase my weekly mileage by a mile and voila!  I'll be ready!"  Had I increased my long run by one mile each week, I likely would have been fine.  However, being the overachiever I tend to be, I increased each run during each week by one mile.  By Week 7, I found myself walking down stairs backwards and wincing when I crossed my legs.  Something was wrong.  I did a little bit of research and realized that if I intended to finish the 3M Half Marathon, which I did, I had to stop running.  So, I did.  I didn't run until race day.  My anxiety the days leading up to the race were comical and all-consuming.  In fact, I didn't sleep a wink the night prior.  In spite of it all, I toed the start line, a toasted English muffin smeared with peanut butter nestled in my stomach, and started running.  And I kept running, even when my hips, knees, and ankles started to scream:  "What are you doing?! Didn't we make ourselves clear a month ago?!  We're not on board with this whole 'running' thing!  Stop it this instance!"  I, politely, told them to "hush!" and continued on to the finish line.  I am proud to say I ran the entire thing, and promptly cried upon getting my finisher's medal.  It was an entirely overwhelming experience and one I'm not sure I'll have again.  The 13.1 mile distance was so unattainable to me; it seemed like a ridiculous and unending expanse of space to traverse, and on foot, but I did it.  I kept moving; I kept running; I kept my focus and traversed that 13.1 miles, all on my own.  For the first time in a year and a half, I had a tangible result from my efforts that law school simply hadn't been able to provide.

While my pride and excitement leading me to continue on this road, my pains and injuries were propelling me to a new venue entirely:  trails.  My brother had been running trails, and unfathomable distances, for quite some time at this point.  I was, and remain, amazed by him, but I wasn't sure trails and those silly distances were for me.  At the same time, I knew (1) I didn't know what I was doing at the moment and (2) I had to change something.  At his recommendation, I went out and purchased the one and only pair of shoes in my entire shoe closet that has single-handedly (footedly?) changed my life:  New Balance 101s, a minimalist trail shoe.  Within a few days, I was meeting Kyle at the Hill of Life trailhead for my first trail run.  I can't quite remember how far we ran that day, but I do know that it was one of the most enlightening runs to date.  Everything was natural, smooth, and fun!  In short, I was hooked immediately.  Within a month, I had signed up for my first two trail races:  the Nueces 25K and the Hell's Hills 50K.  Being the non-mathematically inclined person that I am, I didn't bother to determine the mileage either of these races entailed.  I was rattled when my brother's response to my "If you're not careful, I'll be running some of 'ultras' with you sometime soon!" comment was:  "You're an idiot.  You just signed up for one."

And thus, I set off on a new trail with no idea where it would lead me.